Anticipation
by April Roses
Summary: This story begins when Ruthie finds out the truth about Martin and Sandy.
1. Chapter 1

**"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed.**

**Tears poured from her eyes.**

**"I hate me too." Martin replied softly and regrettably as he cradled her in his arms. Even in extreme distress, he was moved by unexplainable emotion as he held her petite body. He had this feeling only once before...it was the last time that he had held her...the night his Dad returned from Iraq. He had too much on his mind, at the moment, to pay much thought to all this confusion.**

**This was her fantasy...Martin opening his strong arms to her...taking her in and completely enveloping her. She had waited forever for this - but she never imagined it would have been under these circumstances. Sandy was pregnant - with HIS baby! She let herself linger in his arms for one final moment before abruptly pushing him away from her.**

**"Why?" she screamed. "How could you LET this happen?"**

**His watery eyes darted to the corner of the room and then directly back at her.**

**"I don't know." he replied truthfully. "It was one night...one stupid mistake...and now..."**

**Ruthie cut him off.**

**"And now Sandy is having your baby!" Ruthie tearfully snapped.**

**She wasn't done with him.**

**Frantically she spewed "You kept telling me that premarital sex was wrong. You said you were going to wait until you got MARRIED. You actually TOLD me that! I can't believe I EVER listened to you - you're nothing but a LIAR!"**

**Eric felt he had left Ruthie's tirade go on long enough.**

**Calmly, he said "Ruthie, I think..."**

**As soon as she heard her father's voice she turned in his direction. She had been so angry with Martin that she had forgotten that the rest of her family was in the room too. That's when the truth really slapped her in the face.**

**Interrupting her father's thought she suspiciously observed "No one seems very upset about this except me."**

**Eyes darted everywhere but onto her. It told her everything she needed to know.**

**"You all KNEW already, didn't you?" she cried. "Every one of you knew about this and no one said a word to me. How long have you known?" she screamed.**

**Martin quickly stepped in and nervously asserted "I wanted to tell you myself."**

**Ruthie shook her head in disgust and replied "Yeah right! The only reason you told me now was because you HAD to...between Meredith and all the rumors flying around and my ENTIRE family already knowing...you figured it was time to tell "stupid Ruthie" the truth!"**

**She couldn't control the endless flow of tears anymore. She put her hand on the kitchen counter to steady herself.**

**His heart sank and he swallowed hard. He could not believe how much he had devastated her. He knew there was no way to make this right with her. But, for some reason, with her, he had to try.**

**He took a step closer to her.**

**All she could see, as her blurry eyes fixated on the floor, was the fuzzy outline of his sneakers moving towards her.**

**He took his gentle hand and softly placed it under her chin. With little effort, he lifted her chin up until their eyes met.**

**She was surprised to see a tear roll down his cheek as he stoically confessed "You are one of the smartest people that I know. I didn't keep this from you just because I could. I kept this from you because I didn't want you to think less of me...and because I was ashamed and embarrassed...and mostly because I knew...it was going to be a deal breaker for our friendship."**

**She focused on only one word that Martin said. It was "friendship." It was all that she ever was to him. It was certain now that it was all she would EVER be to him. And that fact just destroyed her inside.**

**Imagining Sandy with his baby, she quietly choked out "Yeah, this is a deal breaker." before she ran to her room.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Martin looked nervously around the Camden kitchen. Sympathetic looks shot at him from every angle. He didn't know what to do next.**

**Despondently, he asked "Should I go after her?"**

**Before anyone could answer him, they were startled by the sound of breaking glass.**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Ruthie ran frantically to her room and slammed her door.**

**This could NOT be happening. Sandy was NOT having Martin's baby! He COULDN'T be! HE COULDN'T BE!**

**Anger tore through her heart. She looked around for something to throw - something heavy - something she wished she could throw at Martin's pathetic face. She settled on a crystal globe paperweight. Yes, it had been a present from Simon - but given the circumstances she thought that he'd understand. Without anymore forethought she wound up and threw it hard at her cheval mirror. The mirror shattered into a million pieces. **

**Regret hit her immediately. She dropped to the floor sobbing. With tears pouring from her eyes, she tried to begin picking up the jagged pieces. Completely distraught, she hardly noticed the shards of glass piercing her olive skin.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**It was a sea of Camdens racing up the stairs...Eric, Annie, Lucy, Kevin, Savannah, David, Sam and Martin. There was a single second of silence and disbelief when they flung open the door to Ruthie's room. They saw Ruthie sobbing on the floor with blood trickling from her hands still trying to clean up the mess.**

**Annie screamed, "Ruthie, STOP!" - trying frantically to stop her daughter from touching the ragged glass.**

**Her mother's scream startled her and she looked up - completely oblivious to the crowd that had formed in her room.**

**Blood trickled from her hands in so many different places. It was impossible to tell how much glass was embedded in her skin.**

**"Oh my God, Eric,...her hands!" Annie observed. "Call an ambulance!"**

**Eric turned to oblige his wife.**

**Martin stood breathless and motionless up against the wall. He stared at Ruthie in total disbelief.**

**Kevin walked past everyone. He took one look at Ruthie's hands and announced with authority, "Stop Dad. I don't think that's necessary. They're just superficial cuts on her hand. We need to get her to the hospital - but we can drive her ourselves."**

**Shaken, Eric took Kevin at his word. Kevin picked up Ruthie and carried her down the stairs. Eric held open the door for Kevin and they both helped her into the car. The rest of the Camden clan followed. Annie grabbed towels and then jumped into the back seat of the car with her daughter. She carefully placed Ruthie's battered hands onto the soft cotton. It was a mere minute before the pure white had turned crimson red.**

**"Hurry up!" Annie demanded.**

**Kevin was trying to back the car out but was still dealing with the hysterics of his wife and crying daughter, the twins banter and Martin's silence.**

**Calmly, he reassured Lucy, "We'll call you as soon as we get there. She's going to be FINE."**

**The car screeched out of the driveway.**

**Lucy turned around with one hand over her mouth and the other holding Savannah. Tears trickled down her cheeks.**

**The twin's questions brought her out of her own shock.**

**"Is Ruthie going to be okay?" Sam asked.**

**Lucy sighed and hesitantly replied "Sure. You heard Kevin. She's going to be fine."**

**"But, what about all that blood?" David asked.**

**Lucy took a deep breath and explained, "She just has a deep cut. The doctor will have to give her a few stitches...that's all."**

**"How did the mirror break?" Sam asked curiously.**

**Lucy gave Martin a look of exasperation.**

**Martin uneasily replied, "It was an accident."**

**David gave him a disbelieving look and said "I don't think so Martin."**

**Martin had no idea where his intuitiveness came from - but he knew that David was right. This was no accident.**

**Lucy said softly, "Come on, you two, you need to get back to bed. You can see that Ruthie is fine in the morning."**

**She led the boys into the house. She noticed that Martin was still standing in the yard.**

**"Martin, come on in for a while. We can talk." she gently offered.**

**Martin just shook his head and crossed the street.**


	3. Chapter 3

**In shock, Martin walked across the street. He kept replaying what he had just witnessed in the Camden home. Panic was beginning to set in. He hastily pushed open the screen door of his home and began frantically searching for his car keys. His breathing became labored as he tried in vain to find them.**

**Innocently, his Dad walked into the room and asked casually, "Looking for something?"**

**Martin looked up at his Dad. His father could see the distress written all over his face.**

**"What's wrong?" he asked fearfully.**

**Martin continued looking for his keys while he breathlessly spewed bits of information at his Dad. None of it was making sense to Bill Brewer.**

**Nervously, Martin explained, "It's Ruthie. She's knows about Sandy. They took her to the hospital."**

**Bill misunderstood and questioned, "Is something wrong with the baby? Why is Sandy in the hospital?"**

**Martin shook his head while he tore apart a junk drawer.**

**"No, not Sandy - Ruthie! She picked up the glass. There was blood everywhere. They took HER to the hospital!" he exclaimed emphatically.**

**Again, Bill Brewer jumped to the wrong conclusion.**

**Shocked, he yelled, "She tried to kill herself? When she found out about you and Sandy...she tried to KILL HERSELF?"**

**Martin immediately answered an emphatic "No!" **

**Bill just stared at his son. He was completely confused and Martin wasn't making sense. He took his arms and steadied Martin by his shoulders.**

**"Stop for a minute and TELL ME what happened!" he commanded his son. He could feel his son's body trembling.**

**Martin took a deep breath and hurriedly explained, "I went to the Camden's and I told Ruthie the truth. She was really angry...she told me that she hated me. I told her that I hated myself. She stormed out and went to her room. The next thing we knew there was this huge crash. We all ran up to see what it was..."**

**Martin paused as he relived the horrific scene.**

**Impatiently, Bill asked "And what WAS it?"**

**Martin swallowed hard and said quietly, "It was Ruthie. This mirror was smashed into a billion pieces and she was on the ground trying to pick up the pieces. She was crying and bleeding all over the place. It was..."**

**Bill interrupted his son.**

**"Let's go, NOW!" he instructed his son. "I'll drive."**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Ruthie hadn't said a word to any of them. It was, as if, she was in shock. The truth was that she had nothing to say to any of them. How could they have kept this a secret from her for so many months? She was angry - most especially at her parents. They had listened to her talk about Martin - about what her dreams might be with him someday in their future - and they never said a word. Not one single word about his predicament. For that, she believed, she would NEVER forgive them.**

**Dr. Billings entered the room and provided a pleasant greeting to Ruthie, Eric and Annie.**

**"Seems like someone had a little accident here. Don't you know that if you break a mirror, it will bring you seven years bad luck?" he joked to Ruthie.**

**Ruthie didn't respond.**

**Dr. Billings tried a more conservative approach.**

**"Ruthie, can you tell me how this happened?" he asked.**

**Again, she didn't answer.**

**Annie stepped in.**

**"Ruthie, answer Dr. Billings. Please explain to him how this happened." she said gently.**

**Ruthie remained silent.**

**Eric tried next.**

**He looked at Dr. Billings and explained, "Ruthie had just received some disappointing news and..."**

**Dr. Billings didn't give Eric a chance to finish his sentence. He immediately and sternly asked Ruthie, "Did you do this to hurt yourself intentionally?"**

**Ruthie didn't answer.**

**Eric boldly asserted, "Ruthie, tell him that you did NOT do this on purpose. TELL HIM that this was an accident!"**

**She sat silent.**

**Annie and Eric's mouths dropped.**

**Dr. Billings examined Ruthie's hands. He knew instantly that her wounds were not a serious suicide attempt - but still - he needed to hear that from his patient.**

**Compassionately, he said to Mr. and Mrs. Camden, "I'd like a few minutes to speak with Ruthie, alone."**

**The two rose and Eric protectively put his arm around his unsteady wife as they exited the room.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**"What's going on?" Kevin asked with concern when he saw his in-laws. "Is Ruthie okay?"**

**Annie immediately responded, "The doctor asked her if she did this intentionally. She wouldn't answer him."**

**Kevin's eyes went to Eric. He had never seen his father-in-law look so scared.**

**"That's crazy!" Kevin asserted. "Ruthie, would NEVER do something like this intentionally. I mean we all know she likes Martin but finding out about Sandy wouldn't push her to KILL herself!"**

**All were unaware of the Brewers standing behind them.**

**Martin had frozen in his tracks when he overheard the conversation. Ruthie had hurt herself on purpose after she heard about Sandy. That COULDN'T be true. Ruthie wasn't like that. He knew she'd be upset and disappointed...but NOT suicidal.**

**"Is she okay?" Bill asked with intense concern.**

**Eric just shrugged his shoulders and gave him a despondent look.**

**Martin's voice cracked when he asserted "I NEED to see her. I NEED to talk to her. This was an ACCIDENT. She would NEVER..."**

**Kevin's anger got the best of him.**

**"What makes you so sure that this was an accident, pal?" he scoffed. "You've been leading her on for a year now - and now she has to deal with this crap? The LAST thing that she needs right now is to talk to you!"**

**Bill Brewer protectively stepped between his son and Kevin.**

**"Who the Hell do you think you are?" Bill yelled at Kevin.**

**The two men's angry eyes locked on each other.**

**Martin's eyes widened as Kevin's words sank in.**

**"Lead her on?" Martin confusingly questioned. "WHAT are you talking about?"**

**Kevin continued, "You KNOW she's had a crush on you for over a year. You think it's all cute to have this 16 year old in love with you...following you around...trying ANYTHING to get your attention!"**

**Martin instantly insisted, "I DIDN'T know - and I HAVEN'T been leading her on. Ruthie and are are friends...best friends."**

**Kevin taunted, "If you're such great friends than how come you didn't see this coming?"**

**Martin ran his hand through his hair and quietly repeated "I don't know. I don't know." as he sank into a chair.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dr. Billings looked directly at Ruthie and said, "I need you to tell me how this happened." **

**Ruthie didn't answer. **

**He posed the question one more time, "This is very serious. If you did this to yourself on purpose, I need to know." **

**Again, Ruthie just stared straight ahead. **

**With slight frustration, Dr. Billings announced, "If you don't tell me that this was an accident, than I'm going to have to assume that it was intentional. If that's the case, than I need to make sure that you get the help that you need." **

**Ruthie remained silent. **

**"Very well then." Dr. Billings responded. **

**He picked up the phone and dialed. **

**"I'm going to need a psychiatric consult in ER 5" he firmly stated. **

**When the doctor's back was turned to her, Ruthie's eyes began to widen. WHAT was she getting herself into? **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Dr. Billings stepped out into the hallway. He was greeted by a group of anxious and fearful faces. **

**"How's Ruthie?" Eric anxiously asked. **

**Martin's eyes were fixated only on the doctor. **

**With a knowledgeable look, he answered, "Physically, she's going to be fine. I need to numb up her hands and remove the glass shards. A few of the cuts may require some stitches but the wounds will heal nicely." **

**He sighed and then continued "Unfortunately, emotionally I'm not so sure." **

**Annie nervously questioned, "Did she tell you that she did this on purpose?" **

**"No, she didn't." the doctor stated matter of factly. He continued, "The problem is that she won't deny it either. I've asked her several times and she won't answer either way." **

**Eric boldly asserted, "Look I KNOW my daughter. She's bright, she's responsible...she's wise beyond her years...she'd NEVER do something like this to herself!" **

**The doctor agreed, "I tend to believe you, Reverend Camden. Her wounds aren't consistent with a suicide attempt." **

**Martin finally was able to breath a sigh of relief. That was, until, the doctor completed his thought. **

**"However, her wounds ARE consistent with someone who is trying to hurt themselves...someone desperate...and someone who is crying out for help. Yet...they're also consistent with a plain old accident. The problem is that without Ruthie's explanation, I don't know which way this incident happened. I've called for a psychiatric consult to help me make this decision." he regretfully explained. **

**"A PSYCHIATRIST?" Kevin loudly questioned. "Ruthie is NOT crazy! She doesn't need this. Give me five minutes with her and I'll straighten this whole mess out." **

**The doctor shot Kevin an annoyed look and responded "I'm sorry Mr. - " **

**"Kinkirk" Kevin immediately answered. "I'm Ruthie's brother-in-law." **

**Patronizingly, Dr. Billings said, "Yes, Mr. Kinkirk. I'm sure you're very close to your sister-in-law and you think you know her best. However, I'm bound by law to investigate this further." **

**Kevin knew the law and he knew the doctor was right. He backed down. **

**Tensely, Annie asked "What happens next?" **

**Dr. Billings calmly explained, "I'll begin working on Ruthie's physical wounds. Dr. Rainling, our staff psychiatrist, will be in soon to talk to your daughter." **

**"Can we be with her ?" Annie asked. **

**"You're welcome to come back in now." he kindly answered. **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Annie and Eric walked back into the examining room. Ruthie didn't even glance at them. **

**Annie walked over to Ruthie and kissed her on the forehead. She whispered to her "It's okay, baby. Everything is going to be okay." **

**Ruthie turned her head away. **

**Her coldness stunned Annie. **

**Dr. Billings called in a nurse. She draped a small, sterile, white sheet over Ruthie's arm. He injected her with lidocaine and then began the tedious process of removing the shards of glass from her right hand. The ones he could pull out with tweezers came out easily. However, there were a few deeply embedded that required him to break open the skin and dig out. Despite the numbing medication, it was a gruesome sight and it was all Ruthie could do to keep her composure. When the doctor finished stitching up her right hand, he repeated the painstaking procedure on her left. **

**Dr. Rainling arrived as the last stitches were being sewn in. **

**Dr. Billings excused himself. **

**Dr. Rainling was a young doctor. He looked to be no older than Matt. His age concerned the older Camdens. **

**"Hello." he introduced himself. "I'm Dr. Bill Rainling. I'm the attending psychiatrist in the ER tonight." **

**Eric and Annie introduced themselves and Ruthie. **

**Ruthie remained ever silent. **

**"So, Ruthie, can you tell me how this happened?" he asked. **

**Ruthie looked at the floor and didn't answer. **

**"Okay." he said with a clap of his hands. He turned to Eric and Annie and said "Well, Reverend and Mrs. Camden could you tell me what happened to Ruthie?" **

**Annie and Eric told Dr. Rainling all that they knew...the part about Martin...and about Martin and Sandy...and about Ruthie's crush and Ruthie's friendship with Martin...which admittedly was all that they really knew . They didn't know anything about how Ruthie ended up like this. **

**Dr. Rainling asked for a few minutes alone with Ruthie. **

**Again, Eric and Annie left the room. **

**Bill Rainling studied Ruthie. She was a mess. Both hands were completely wrapped in bandages. Her soft turquoise sweater was spattered with blood stains. And black mascara stains covered her face. Honestly, it was the state that he saw most of his teenage patients in. **

**He chose his words carefully. **

**"It must have been a shock tonight when you learned about your friend." he said softly. **

**She noticed Dr. Rainling's voice was deep yet gentle. **

**She moved her eyes from the floor and onto him. It was the first time she had looked at him. He was gorgeous. **

**That was the only response he got to his statement. **

**"Well, at least I got you to look at me." he commented. **

**"The thing is, Ruthie, that I'm supposed to figure out how this happened." he confided. "And I can't figure that out unless you talk to me. If I can't walk out of here and say confidently that it was an accident, than I'm going to have to admit you to the hospital... into the psychiatric unit." **

**Dr. Rainling knew this was the speech that would crack most teens into talking. He'd done it hundreds of times now. The threat of hospitalization scared the kids to death! It usually worked on your average teenager - but there was nothing average about Ruthie. **

**Dr. Rainling confidently proceeded, "So Ruthie, now that you know the choice that I have to make...would you please tell me how you cut your hands?" **

**Ruthie's eyes fell off of him and back onto the floor. **

**He decided to give it one last crack, "Okay Ruthie, well you leave me no other choice. I'm going to write the orders to section you into the Gosner wing for 72 hours of observation. We use this time to determine whether you are not a threat to yourself or to anyone else." **

**An unseen smile washed across Ruthie's face as it pointed towards the floor. She was laughing about the part of being "a danger to other people." They were smart to lock her up. She couldn't be held responsible for what she might do the next time she crossed paths with Martin or Sandy. **

**Dr. Rainling had no other choice than to admit Ruthie. **

**------------------------------------------------------------------------ **

**Dr. Rainling exited Ruthie's room and walked into the sea of Camdens. He regrettably explained what needed to happen next. As expected, the Camdens were outraged. **

**"Is this REALLY necessary?" Kevin exclaimed. "I'm telling you that Ruthie is NOT suicidal. I WORKED on the GlenOak police force. I KNOW suicidal and Ruthie ain't it!" **

**Dr. Billings had warned Dr. Rainling about an uptight brother-in-law. **

**"Mr. Kinkirk, if you were an officer, than you undoubtedly know the law when it comes to attempted suicide. We can't release Ruthie until we know that she is okay." he calmly explained. **

**"But I'm telling you that Ruthie is NOT suicidal!" Kevin cried out. **

**Dr. Rainling couldn't help getting sarcastic with Kevin. **

**"And you're basing your opinion on WHICH of your medical degrees?" he chastised. **

**Kevin immediately took offense. **

**Dr. Rainling realized he had been unprofessional. He may be experienced but he certainly wasn't polished. **

**"I apologize Mr. Kinkirk. However, you know that if I released Ruthie and anything else happened...I would be responsible. I'm just not convinced, yet, that this was an accident. I need to be convinced before Ruthie is allowed to leave." he said sternly. **

**Dr. Rainling explained what would happen next to Eric and Annie. They took an extreme dislike to the fact that she could have no visitors for the first 24 hours. The doctor explained it as an uninterrupted settling in period. The Camdens protested but the rules were the rules. **

**Dr. Rainling observed a young man in the group who looked beyond ruined. He correctly guessed that this young man was the one and only "Martin." As the heartbroken Camdens began filing out, he pulled Martin aside and asked if he could speak with him for a few minutes. Martin's father surrendered the car keys insisting he'd get a ride home with the Camdens. **

**------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Dr. Rainling led Martin into a comfortable and private lounge. Martin sat nervously on the couch, tapping his fingers together. **

**It was clear that it wasn't just Ruthie on the edge here. **

**Bluntly, Dr. Rainling asked "So, what do you think?" **

**Martin was taken aback by his question. He wasn't even sure why Dr. Rainling wanted to talk to him. **

**"What do you mean?" Martin questioned. **

**Dr. Rainling explained, "I mean - do YOU think that Ruthie tried to hurt herself on purpose?" **

**Martin's eyes darted all around the room. **

**He quietly answered "No." **

**He paused and then added with confusion, "At least I don't THINK so. I don't know. I thought that Ruthie and I were friends - best friends." **

**"And?" Dr. Rainling questioned. **

**"And..." Martin answered with bewilderment. "Tonight, Kevin told me that Ruthie has had a crush on me for like a year. He accused me of leading her on - and LIKING it! The truth is that I must be the STUPIDEST guy on earth because I've gotten a girl I detest pregnant on the first date...AND I had no idea that Ruthie was interested in me. REALLY, I didn't!" **

**Dr. Rainling made a mental note that this Kevin guy was a problem. **

**Sympathetically, Dr. Rainling observed, "Looks like you have a lot on your plate right now. It must be overwhelming." **

**Martin replied with frustration, "I THOUGHT it was overwhelming before...but now...after tonight...look, I don't know how I'm going to be able to live with myself if it turns out that Ruthie did this on purpose. If I knew...if I had any idea that she felt that way about me I would have..." **

**Dr. Rainling tried to finish his sentence with a question. "You would have...what...not told her about the pregnant girl?" **

**"No." Martin shook his head. "It was just a matter of time before she found out. Everyone else already knew...her family, our friends...the entire school." **

**Dr. Rainling took special note of that statement. He correctly surmised that this was the cause of Ruthie's intense anger. **

**Dr. Rainling tried again. This time more boldly. "Okay, so if you had known about Ruthie's feelings for you...you would have...acted on the ones that you have for her?" **

**Martin's eyes fixated on the doctor. **

**He weakly protested, "No, it's not like that. I lived with the Camdens for almost two years. Ruthie was like a sister to me." **

**Dr. Rainling stated the obvious, "But she ISN'T your sister." **

**Probing a little more he said "And I noticed that you used the words "was like a sister to me"...what changed...why isn't she like that anymore?" **

**Martin didn't like being pushed into a corner. He threw up his hands. **

**He exclaimed, "Look, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm in a MESS here. I'm going to be a teenage father with a woman that I can't stand. And my best friend is about to be locked into a psych. unit - maybe because of ME...I'm probably not going to be much help to you." **

**"Quite the contrary, Mr. Brewer. You've been very helpful. You know, if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone - to help you sort this whole thing out - I can give you a referral." Dr. Rainling said sincerely. **

**Martin thought the last thing he needed was one more person giving him an opinion about what he needed to do with his life. He politely declined the offer. **

**Martin was unsure if he should even ask the next question. But he HAD to. **

**"When do you think I can see Ruthie?" he asked timidly. **

**Sensing Martin's fragile state, Dr. Rainling answered, "Well, as you know, she can't have any visitors for 24 hours. So, go home and get some rest Martin." **

**Martin rambled, "I just need to TALK to her. I want her to know how sorry I am. I NEVER meant to hurt her like this." **

**The doctor reassured him, "You'll get your time. This is just a temporary situation, Martin. That's what I want both you and Ruthie to realize. Life is constantly changing. What seems horrific on one day can turn into something beautiful the next. Teenagers don't have the gift of this insight. It only comes with age. So, you'll have to trust me on this. Everything will turn out fine, Martin. Don't worry - and get some rest." **

**Defeated, Martin turned and began the long walk to the car.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Martin sat in the car and rubbed his throbbing temples. He didn't know what to do next. Normally, he'd go to the Camdens with his problems. He couldn't this time because he WAS the Camden's problem. **

**He reached for his cell and began scanning the directory. It took him only a moment to locate... **

**"Hey Mac - it's Martin." he said wearily. **

**Mac was glad to hear Martin's voice. He hadn't called that often since Mac had moved up North with his mother. They had kept in touch by e-mail. He knew all about Martin's unfortunate situation with Sandy. **

**"Did the offspring arrive yet?" Mac half joked. **

**Martin was silent. **

**Mac felt bad for once again pushing the envelope too far. **

**"Sorry, Man. How's things going?" he asked seriously. "Is everything okay with Sandy and the baby?" **

**"I don't know." Martin answered truthfully. **

**"Still not talking?" Mac asked knowingly. **

**Martin exhaustedly replied, "No, we talk a little - but not much. That's not why I'm calling though." **

**"Oh." Mac responded with surprise. "Well, what's going on?" **

**Martin took a deep breath and blurted out "It's Ruthie." **

**"Ruthie Camden?" Mac questioned. **

**Completely annoyed, Martin replied, "Do you KNOW any other Ruthie?" **

**Mac laughed and asked, "Did you two FINALLY hook up?" **

**Again, there was silence on the phone. **

**Mac mistakenly thought that Martin was trying to keep him in suspense. **

**"You DID didn't you!" Mac laughed. "Hey, don't you think you should get through the Sandy situation before you start messing around with the preacher's daughter?" **

**More silence. Martin knew this phone call had been a mistake. **

**Disgusted, Martin answered, "Look, I've got to go. I just wanted to check in with you and..." **

**Mac knew immediately that he had guessed wrong. **

**"Okay..." he concluded. "You didn't hook up with Ruthie. So, what IS going on with her?" **

**Martin choked on his words when he revealed, "She's in the hospital." **

**Concerned, Mac said, "Oh my God, what happened?" **

**Martin wiped his brow and quietly confessed, "She's in the psych. ward." **

**Mac was SURE that he heard his friend wrong. **

**"She's WHERE?" he yelled. **

**Martin repeated, "She's in Glen Oak - in the psychiatric unit." **

**"What the Hell?" Mac questioned. **

**"There was an accident tonight. I told her about Sandy and me." he revealed. **

**"Accident?" Mac confusingly questioned. "What kind of an accident lands you in a mental hospital?" **

**A lump formed in Martin's throat as he tried AGAIN to explain what he had seen tonight. **

**His steady voice became broken when he rambled to Mac, "She cut her hands. There was blood everywhere. She's not talking. She's not saying it was an accident. They won't let her out until she tells them it was an accident." **

**With fear and frustration, he added, "And she won't ADMIT it was a damn accident!" **

**Mac hesitated before quietly asking, "Well, was it?" **

**Martin sighed, "I don't know. I mean I thought I knew her. I thought I knew everything that was going on with her. But...after tonight...I'm completely clueless." **

**"What do you mean?" he asked. **

**Martin regretfully explained, "Ruthie wanted us to be more than friends. But...I had no idea. She completely lost it tonight when I told her about Sandy and the baby." he explained. **

**Mac could tell his friend was completely unglued. **

**"Where are you?" Mac asked. **

**"Sitting in the hospital parking lot." Martin answered. **

**Mac didn't hesitate when he said, "Go home, Buddy. I'll be there in two hours." **

**"No." Martin asserted. "You don't need to come down here. There's nothing that you can do." **

**"You're right." Mac cockily answered. "I don't NEED to come down there. I WANT to come down there. Leave your back door unlocked, okay?" **

**Martin didn't argue because right now he knew he really needed a friend. **

**"Will do." he responded. "And Mac..." **

**"Yeah?" he replied. **

**"Thanks." Martin said sincerely. **

**Mac couldn't end the call without a joke. It was just the way he was. **

**"You know you're gonna owe me. Let Sandy know that I get to name the baby...and it's looking like it's going to be Mac or Mackenzie Brewer!" he laughed. **

**Martin just sighed with relief and hung up the phone. **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Ruthie refused all visitors and phone calls. It was her right and privilege. She valued that. At least someone respected her - even if it was only the hospital board of trustees. **

**Eric and Annie were shocked by the rejection. They understood her anger at Martin. They understood her disappointment at them for not revealing the secret about Sandy. But they didn't see it as the major betrayal of trust that Ruthie knew it was. **

**Ruthie had met with Dr. Rainling two times in the past 36 hours. He seemed very nice and genuinely interested in helping her. She felt a little guilty not coming clean with him. However, she knew it was for her own good. Her silence was the only thing keeping her in here. If she spoke, he'd just send her back home. Home was the last place she wanted to be. **

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**It was KILLING Martin that Ruthie refused to see him. He thought if he could just talk to her, he could make everything okay again. And he could get her out of that place! **

**------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**"Maybe she'll talk to me." Mac offered. **

**Martin rolled his eyes and replied, "Now WHY would she do that? No offense, but she can't stand you!" **

**"I don't know." Mac answered casually. "She's refused everyone else. What harm would it do if I tried?" **

**Martin just shook his head. **

**"Can I borrow your car?" Mac asked. **

**"Are you serious? Why waste your time? She WON'T see you." he insisted. **

**Mac smiled, "Keys?" **

**Martin threw them at him and shrugged his shoulders. **

**------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Ruthie was beyond lonely. She hadn't talk to anyone in two days. No one. She sat in her room - silent. She sat in her sessions with Dr. Rainling - silent. She sat through group sessions - silent. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer. But she was determined NOT to go home. **

**A young nurse entered Ruthie's room. **

**She announced, "You have another visitor." **

**Ruthie just shook her head "no." **

**The nurse added, "This is someone different. He said to make SURE to tell you that he WAS NOT a Camden." **

**Ruthie looked up at the nurse. Her curiosity was peaked. **

**The nurse smiled when she said, "He said his name is "Mac" and he's kind of cute." **

**"Mac?" Ruthie questioned in her head. "Why would Mac be here? He doesn't even live here anymore." **

**It's got to be a trick she thought. But, she had her doubts. She rose from her bed and peeked out the door. And there he was - Mac. **

**The nurse could see the interest in Ruthie's face. **

**"So, I can tell him it's okay to come in?" she slyly questioned. **

**Ruthie nodded. **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Ruthie sat on the hospital bed in her soft pink bathrobe and slippers. Not one inch of make up traced her young face. Her hair was damp and curly from the shower. She knew that she looked...well...she looked 12. Then again, she thought - this is Mac - why did she care WHAT she looked like for him? **

**Mac came in and smiled at Ruthie. To him, she looked - beautiful. He always thought she was beautiful. He knew that most guys agreed. **

**"Hey" he said nonchalantly to Ruthie and sat down in the chair beside her bed. **

**She hesitated before returning his greeting. **

**"Hi." she said softly. **

**"See," Mac smiled and joked, "I KNEW you could talk. Everyone else was beginning to doubt it...but I knew you could do it!" **

**Ruthie looked away uncomfortably. **

**Mac realized it wasn't quite the time for jokes. **

**"Seriously, how are you doing?" Mac asked. **

**Sarcasm was about to burst out of Ruthie. She couldn't hold back any longer. **

**"Well, how does it LOOK like I'm doing? I'm locked up in a psych ward!" she snapped. **

**Mac nodded at the obvious. His eyes fixated on her two heavily bandaged hands. **

**He had a look of wonder on his face when he asked, "How do you shower like that?" **

**Ruthie shook her head in astonishment and replied cockily, "Very carefully." **

**Mac nodded again. **

**She couldn't help noticing that Mac seemed at a complete loss for words. She couldn't stand the silence so she ended it. **

**"So, why are you here? Didn't you move?" she asked coldly. **

**Mac didn't let Ruthie's attitude freeze him out. **

**"Yep. But I came to see you. Martin called me the night that you were admitted." he explained. **

**Ruthie winced when Mac said Martin's name. **

**It didn't go unnoticed. **

**Mac continued sweetly, "He's REALLY worried about you. He's upset that you won't see him or take his calls. To be honest, he's going out of his mind." **

**Ruthie wasn't buying it. **

**With a sharp tongue she replied, "How can he even have time to think about me? Shouldn't he be at Lamaze classes and baby showers?" **

**Mac responded, "Yeah, I think those are the last places that he wants to be. He wants to be HERE and talking to YOU." **

**Ruthie just shook her head in disbelief. **

**"Is this all about the baby? Or is there more to this?" Mac questioned. **

**"This?" Ruthie responded innocently. **

**"Yeah, THIS." Mac retorted. "Being locked up here. Refusing to see anyone. Not wanting to come home. Is it all because you found out about Martin and Sandy?" **

**Ruthie looked away from him. **

**Tactlessly, Mac said "Look, I know you have a thing for Martin and..." **

**"WHAT?" Ruthie screamed. **

**Mac realized he had just inserted his foot into his mouth. **

**Squeamishly, he tried, "I mean that..." **

**Ruthie cut him off. **

**"You KNOW that I have a THING for Martin? And just HOW do you know this?" she interrogated. **

**Mac shrugged uncomfortably and said replied timidly, "Because your brother-in-law told Martin." **

**"Kevin TOLD Martin?" she questioned loudly. **

**As much as Mac didn't want to have this conversation with Ruthie, he knew this was no time to be lying to her. **

**Mac tried to explain, "He told him the night that you...that there was...the night that you got hurt. He chewed him out. He told him that he did this to you because he had led you on for over a year and then he dumped the news on you about Sandy." **

**Ruthie tried to bury her head in her hands but then cried out in pain from the pressure on her wounds. **

**Mac immediately jumped out of the chair and went to her. He sat down on her bed beside her and put one hand on her shoulder. **

**Concerned, he asked softly, "Are you okay?" **

**She looked up at him and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. **

**As hard as she could, she tried to hold back the tears as she confided "Everything is SUCH a mess. I'm SO embarrassed." **

**"Embarrassed that you like Martin?" he questioned. **

**Ruthie looked away and choked out "Embarrassed that HE knows about it. Embarrassed that everyone knew about Sandy but me. Embarrassed that my parents let me walk around for months talking about Martin and never saying a word." **

**Truthfully and sympathetically, Mac said "I can understand why you're so upset." **

**He paused before he questioned, "But did it make you do this to yourself?" as he gently lifted up one of her hands. **

**Ruthie started to panic a little inside. She knew if she told Mac the truth than he'd tell everyone else - and she'd have to go home. **

**Tearfully, she answered, "I can't go home." **

**"What?" Mac asked - not making the connection. **

**"If I say that it was an accident - they're going to make me go home. And I just...I just...I just can't do it. I can't face them." she cried. **

**Mac moved closer to her on the bed. He opened his arms and took Ruthie in. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and whispered to her, "Hey, it's okay, Ruthie. Don't cry." **

**His sweet plea of "Don't cry" made Ruthie cry harder. She felt so safe in Mac's arms. It was the first time she had been able to let herself go since the accident. **

**After a minute of Mac holding her tenderly, she calmed herself down enough to just sniffles. **

**She pulled away slowly and apologized, "I'm so sorry." **

**"For what?" Mac warmly questioned. **

**Ruthie laughed softly, "For acting like a big baby and unloading all of this on you." **

**"Hey, just think of me like your 8th brother." Mac joked. **

**"8th brother?" Ruthie questioned. **

**"Sure, you know you have the regular ones - then there was that Robbie guy, then Martin...and who knows who else you're family has adopted since I've been gone." he laughed. **

**Ruthie smiled and repeated the word "Brother." **

**She thought for a moment and then asked in a depressed tone, "Does that mean that Sandy will soon be my sister-in-law?" **

**Mac immediately responded, "Not unless she marries Sam, David or Simon." **

**Ruthie looked confused. **

**Mac continued, "Ruthie, I don't know what image you have in your head but Martin doesn't love Sandy. Heck, I don't ever think that Martin LIKES Sandy. They're NOT getting married." **

**There was a brief glimmer in Ruthie's eyes that quickly disappeared. **

**She concluded, "But this baby will tie them together...forever." **

**Mac agreed with a sigh, "Yeah, it will." **

**He noticed that Ruthie looked teary eyed again. **

**Without forethought he asked, "Are you jealous?" **

**Ruthie couldn't look at him. **

**Mac insisted "Ruthie, don't be jealous of Sandy. She's the last person you would want to be right now. She's in the middle of college and pregnant with a high school guy's kid who doesn't want to give her the time of day." **

**She couldn't help defending Martin with, "But he's really not like that..." **

**Mac added, "You're partially right. If it WERE you - he would never be like that. And if it WERE you - he'd marry you in a heartbeat. But that's only because...he cares about you. And that's why he's going out of his mind right now." **

**Ruthie felt just a twinge of guilt. **

**She whispered, "But how am I going to face everybody?" **

**She looked so sad. He felt SO sorry for her. **

**He hardly recognized his own voice when the words "I'll help you. I'll do this with you." tumbled from his mouth. **

**Amazed, she looked up at him with her huge brown eyes and asked tenderly asked, "You'd do that for me?...Why?" **

**Her marble eyes on him melted his heart. **

**Trying to shrug it off, he answered truthfully, "Because I like you, Ruthie. And I can't STAND seeing you locked up here. And I need to make sure that you're okay...8th brother thing, remember?" **

**Ruthie smiled but revealed, "I'm scared." **

**Mac took hold of her once again in his arms. As he held her, he reassured her, "I'm going to do this with you. There's nothing to be afraid of. We'll start by talking to your doctor and then we'll move on to your parents." **

**Ruthie rested her head on Mac's broad chest. She lingered in the peaceful moment knowing that, very shortly, her life was going to become even more complicated. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Mac kept his promise. He stayed with Ruthie, the entire time, while she explained to Dr. Rainling what REALLY happened the night of the accident. The doctor wasn't surprised. He just needed to hear the words, out of Ruthie's own mouth, that she had not harmed herself intentionally. She also had to explain that her silence, after the accident, was her weak attempt to avoid having to face her family...and more so...Martin and Sandy. **

**Dr. Rainling suggested some coping strategies to Ruthie. He also threw out the idea that she continue talking to a therapist for the next couple of months. Without saying it directly, she knew he meant until Sandy actually gave birth to Martin's baby. She was on the fence about his suggestion.**

**Next came the harder part. Dr. Rainling called the Camdens and asked Eric and Annie to come to the hospital. To say that they were surprised to see Mac beside Ruthie was an understatement. To say that they were shocked that Ruthie had confessed it was all an accident and was being released from the hospital was an even bigger understatement.**

**It was impossible not to notice Ruthie's subtle cling onto Mac. Eric and Annie knew this matter needed attention...but not now. All they cared about, now, was getting their daughter home. And if it meant that Mac was attached to her for the moment - then so be it. Eric had always believed that God works through people in mysterious ways. If he was using Mac as his instrument - then who was he to argue with God.**

**Eric and Annie agreed to let Mac drive Ruthie home - as long as he promised to bring her directly home.**

**Ruthie fidgeted nervously in the car. Mac put his one free hand onto her arm to calm her.**

**Anxiously she said, "You know that as soon as you leave, they're going to bombard me with questions. That's how they are - everything is about TALKING."**

**Honestly, he answered, "You know - talking isn't such a bad thing. You'll probably feel better when you let them know how you really feel about them keeping Martin's situation a secret."**

**She sighed and responded with confusion, "Yeah...maybe."**

**Mac didn't want to push her too much but he knew that as soon as Martin knew she was home - he'd want to talk to her. He wanted to prepare her for that.**

**He tried to casually suggest, "You know, after you have that conversation with your parents...you'll probably want to have a similar one with Martin."**

**He had no idea how she was going to react. He braced himself.**

**She surprised him with her candor.**

**"No. I don't." she replied curtly.**

**Mac tried again.**

**"You can't avoid him forever." he said softly.**

**Ruthie didn't respond.**

**He began stating the obvious - "He lives across the street from you...you go to the same school...he's really close to your family...and to you."**

**"Not anymore." Ruthie snapped. "He has a new family now. He has Sandy and the baby."**

**Mac was concerned that she wasn't looking at the whole picture.**

**Gently, he said, "Ruthie - your family isn't going to just disown Martin."**

**"You're right." she agreed. "They'd never do something like that for ME. But it doesn't mean that I can't disown him."**

**Mac analyzed, "You're just mad at him. If you just give it some time then - "**

**Annoyed, Ruthie interrupted, "Then WHAT? Then I'll grow to love him, Sandy and the BABY? Is THAT what you were going to say?"**

**Now, Mac was silent. Ruthie felt bad. He had been so wonderful to her. She had no right to yell at him like that.**

**"I'm sorry." she apologized sincerely.**

**He smiled, "It's okay. I understand."**

**"But you know what?" she said sweetly. "You shouldn't HAVE to understand. I was way out of line."**

**"You just have a lot on your mind." he replied as he pulled into the Camden driveway.**

**Ruthie had a look of confusion on her face.**

**"What happens now?" she asked sadly.**

**Mac tried to reassure her, "You go in there and TALK to them. Let them know how you feel."**

**"No!" Ruthie insisted. "I mean...are you leaving? Are you going back up North?"**

**"Yeah," he answered softly. "I have a couple of more finals before break starts."**

**She knew she had no right to say this but she couldn't hold back.**

**"Please don't leave - not yet." she almost whispered.**

**Her quiet plea went straight to his heart.**

**He comforted her with, "Ruthie, you can call me. I gave you my cell number. You can call me ANYTIME, you know?"**

**Desperately, she reiterated, "But you said you'd stay with me - you said that you'd help me. I can't do this by myself."**

**Tears were forming in her eyes again. He knew that she needed him. He couldn't turn his back on her in this fragile state.**

**He sighed and smiled, "I'll be at Martin's tonight. You can call me on my cell if you need ANYTHING. I'm going to have to go home for a couple of days to take those finals - and then I promise I'll be back. I'll spend the holidays with my Dad in Glen Oak."**

**Ruthie gratefully leaned forward and put a soft kiss on Mac's left cheek.**

**"Thank you." she whispered.**

**Mac got out and then opened Ruthie's car door for her. He protectively put one arm around her waist and led her up the path and to the back door.**

**Meanwhile, Martin stared out his bedroom window in total disbelief. He had just witnessed Ruthie kiss Mac - Mac with his arms around Ruthie - and both of them disappearing into the Camden house.**

**He didn't know why...but his blood began to boil.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Mac walked her into the house. Eric and Annie were waiting for them at the kitchen table. Mac knew they were eager for him to leave so that they could finally talk to Ruthie...alone. He tried to make a quick exit - but Ruthie would have none of that. **

**Mac said sincerely to Eric and Annie, "Well, I should get going now. Thanks for letting me bring Ruthie home." **

**It was hard to miss the eager looks on both of their faces. **

**Ruthie immediately pleaded, "No - don't go yet. You just got here." **

**Eric interjected, "Ruthie, if Mac says that he has to go..." **

**Ruthie countered, "But he doesn't HAVE to go." **

**Annie calmly added, "Ruthie, Mac's been with you all day and it's getting late. You still need to rest while you're recovering." **

**Mac felt beyond uncomfortable. **

**He put a gentle hand on Ruthie's shoulder and said, "I'll call you in the morning." **

**With disappointment, Ruthie just nodded. **

**Mac let himself out. **

**Ruthie, Eric and Annie had their first real discussion about Martin. **

**"We know you're upset that we didn't tell you." Eric began. **

**Annie added, "We wanted to tell you but we knew Martin wanted to tell you himself." **

**Ruthie was calm when she said "It's not just that you didn't tell me. It's that I confided in you about how I felt about Martin - and you still didn't say anything. I walked around here for months totally infatuated with him...telling you all my hopes and dreams for OUR future...and you didn't say one single word. Was everyone just laughing at me behind my back?" **

**"Ruthie, NO!" her mother insisted. "We'd never do that." **

**Ruthie looked away and then looked back at them and asked, "Why did you let me go on and on about him?" **

**"I guess," Eric soothed, "We didn't want to take away your dreams." **

**Ruthie sarcastically snapped, "Well, they're gone NOW! You HAD to have known that it was just a matter of time before I found out. What did you think was going to happen then?" **

**Eric explained, "I guess we were hoping that by then you would have been interested in someone else." **

**"Ahhhh..." Ruthie said suspiciously. "That doesn't make much sense SINCE you did everything that you could to get me NOT to go out with Jack!" **

**Eric relented "Well, from the rumors we had heard about him, we just thought that..." **

**Ruthie corrected him, "You mean the rumors that you heard from MARTIN, right?" **

**Eric just shrugged. **

**Annie suggested, "You know, Ruthie, I think that Martin just had your best interest at heart. Even if you don't believe us...we all did." **

**Outraged, Ruthie asked, "How can you say that he had my best interest at heart? I thought he was my best friend and then he went and did THIS...and didn't even tell me! I can't tell you how many times I asked him about Sandy. I KNEW something was going on - and he denied it everytime. He LIED to me. He LIED right to my face. What kind of friend would DO that?" **

**Eric said compassionately, "Maybe a friend who was really scared...maybe a friend who was trying to hide from the truth...maybe a friend who was afraid that he'd lose your friendship." **

**Annie asked her daughter, "What are you going to do now? Now that you know about him and Sandy?" **

**"Avoid them like the plague!" Ruthie chuckled. "I don't want anything to do with either one of them again." **

**Eric questioned, "And you can just turn your feelings on and off like that - for Martin?" **

**Ruthie said sharply, "What choice do I have? He doesn't need me. He's got Sandy and the baby. There's no room in his life for some high school girl." **

**Annie countered, "You're hardly just "some high school girl" to him!" **

**Ruthie shook her head. Her parents were in such denial. **

**She casually explained, "He's been nice to me because he lived here. He's grateful that you took him in. He's told me that he thinks of me as a sister. Well, you know what? I have four brothers already - I just don't need or want another one." **

**It was clear to Eric and Annie that they weren't going to get very far with Ruthie tonight. **

**"It's been a long couple of days." Eric said softly. "Let's just sleep on this and talk about it in the morning." **

**Ruthie announced, "I'm going to get some air." **

**"Oh Ruthie, it's late. You need to get some rest. Fresh air can wait until the morning." Annie responded. **

**"No, it can't." Ruthie answered. "I'm just going to go for a short walk. I'll take Happy with me. I need to clear my head." **

**Eric took one look at his daughter's hands and asked, "Won't it be hard to hold the leash?" **

**Ruthie had momentarily forgotten about her injuries. The stitches wouldn't come out for another ten days. There wasn't much she could do independently. **

**She rolled her eyes and relented "Okay, I'll just sit on the porch...is THAT okay?" **

**Eric and Annie kissed her on the cheek before heading off to bed. **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Martin paced in his room for five minutes. He kept replaying it. What HAD he just seen? Why was Mac with Ruthie? Why was Ruthie KISSING Mac? Why did Mac have his hands ALL OVER Ruthie? He had to calm himself down by reminding himself that Mac's hands really weren't ALL OVER Ruthie - but, in his mind, they might as well have been. Not knowing what was going on at the Camden's was killing him. He decided that he couldn't wait any longer and quickly headed downstairs. If he had waited just one minute longer, he would have seen Mac quickly exiting the Camden home. **

**Martin's heavily pounding feet on the wood stairs got his father's attention. **

**"Where are you going?" Bill casually asked his son. **

**Bill looked at his son and recognized the distress on his face. **

**"Did something happen to Ruthie?" he asked with alarm. **

**"I don't know." Martin answered angrily. **

**"What do you mean...you don't know?" he responded. **

**Martin hostilely revealed, "She's home." **

**Confused by his son's tone, he asked "And isn't that a GOOD thing?" **

**Martin tried to be casual when he said, "Mac just brought her home." **

**"Mac?" his father asked with surprise. "I thought he came here to visit you. I didn't even know that they knew each other. How did he get her out of the hospital?" **

**"I don't know." Martin snapped. **

**His father countered, "I don't understand any of this. And what I really don't understand is why you seem so angry that Ruthie is home. That should be a reason to celebrate, right?" **

**Martin said through clenched teeth, "Celebrate? She won't even talk to ME!" **

**Bill Brewer was beginning to see where this was going. **

**He said to his son placidly, "Well, somehow Mac got her out of the hospital. Be grateful for that. I take it to mean that she admitted everything was an accident." **

**"Yeah," Martin said sarcastically, "I wonder how he got her to admit that?" **

**"Martin, what's that supposed to mean?" his father asked curiously. **

**Infuriated, Martin replied "You know Mac - he's always been a player." **

**Bill stifled his laughter when he remarked, "And you think...what? That Mac hit on her and that's why she came home?" **

**Martin yelled back "Well, that's what I just SAW!" **

**Bill really felt for his son. He knew he must have misunderstood whatever he saw. **

**Trying not to be patronizing, he asked Martin "Well...What did you see? **

**Not able to contain his anger anymore, he blurted out "I saw Ruthie KISSING him! And I saw Mac with his hands all over her!" **

**Bill put his hand to his head finally realizing the magnitude of the dilemma his son was in. He had one girl pregnant that he couldn't stand - and he had just realized his complete infatuation with the girl across the street - who was now with one of his best friends. He felt for his son but knew it was his son's own actions that caused this situation. His sympathy only went so far. **

**Realistically, Bill commanded, "Tell me what you saw." **

**Martin told him about seeing Ruthie kiss Mac on the cheek and how Mac helped get her into the house. **

**Bluntly, he asked Martin, "Don't you think you're exaggerating...just a little?" **

**Martin shrugged and looked away. **

**"Do you want to know what I think?" his father asked. **

**Martin shrugged again. **

**He didn't want to stress his son out even more. But he knew it was imperative that he tell Martin that now was NOT the time to get involved with Ruthie. He knew that would just further complicate the already impossible situation. **

**"Okay, well because you're so enthused...I'm going to tell you. I think that you and Ruthie both need friends around you now. You're both going through things and you need some support. I think you're upset because usually you're the one to support her - and you can't now - and it bothers you that Mac has stepped in." he explained. **

**Bill paused briefly and then continued, "I know you don't want to hear this - but you have to. You need to focus on Sandy and your baby. I've let you slide long enough by pretending to be in denial. But you're not a kid - you're an 18 year old man. You need to come up with a plan with how you are going to deal with this." **

**Martin barked, "You mean you want me to marry her!" **

**Bill immediately responded "No, that's NOT what I mean. To be honest, I DON'T want you to marry her. If you did, your marriage would surely fail. You don't love her and she doesn't love you. You're strangers to each other. What I DO want you to do is take responsibility for your irresponsible behavior." **

**Exasperated, Martin asked "HOW?" **

**He answered with agitation, "By BEING a man. That means getting a job and having money to help Sandy and support your child. That means being available to Sandy emotionally while she goes through the rest of the pregnancy. That means being a FATHER to your child the moment that child is born. It's time to stop hiding, Martin!" **

**Martin buried his head into his hands. **

**"I'm just so ANGRY at her!" he scowled. **

**"Why? Do you think she planned this? Do you think she tried to trap you?" his Dad asked seriously. **

**"I don't know." Martin answered seriously. "It was ONE night. I took precautions - and she told me that she did TOO. If that was true...what are the odds that she'd end up pregnant from that ONE night?" **

**Bill Brewer was caught off guard. It was the first time Martin had disclosed any details about that night. He was right. It didn't make that much sense. But he also knew that nothing but abstinence was 100 effective. **

**"I think you need to stop dwelling on that and deal with what is. The fact is that Sandy is having your baby. No anger or regret, on your part, is going to change that. It's time to just accept it." he lectured. **

**Martin just nodded. He knew his father was right. He knew this problem was not going to go away. He knew that in a matter of months he WOULD be a father. **

**Bill regretfully had to add the warning about Ruthie. **

**Hesitantly, he said "I know you and Ruthie are friends. But, you can't lean on her, for support, about Sandy and the baby." **

**Martin logically concluded, "Because you're worried that she can't handle it emotionally?" **

**Bill tried answering it another way. **

**"Because I don't think you and Ruthie should get any closer - right now." he responded. **

**Martin didn't understand his father's point. **

**"You don't think Ruthie and I should stay friends because of Sandy and the baby? That doesn't seem fair that you think I should have to give up my friends because I'm going to become a father." Martin stated. **

**Bill wondered when his son was going to fall out of denial over his feelings for Ruthie. He just had to be blunt to get his message across. **

**Firmly, he stated, "Don't get romantically involved with Ruthie Camden. Focus on the baby." **

**Martin was taken aback by his father's order. **

**He defended, "Ruthie and I aren't involved and..." **

**His father cut him off. **

**He didn't want to hurt his son. But the truth needed to be said. **

**Forcefully he stated, "And you WON'T be! She's only 16, Martin. She thinks she LOVES you. She's still innocent. She doesn't need to get wrapped up in this drama." **

**Bill could see the devastation on Martin's face. **

**Martin stormed out without another word to his father. **

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Martin walked around the block, at least a dozen times, trying to sort the whole mess out. He didn't understand so much of what he was feeling. **

**Despite his father's unwanted advice, he couldn't get Ruthie Camden out of his head. He couldn't erase the image of Mac and Ruthie together - and it was driving him insane. He finally admitted to himself that he was completely jealous. He told himself he was CRAZY to feel this way. **

**He had told anyone that would listen that he and Ruthie were just friends. But there had been subtle things along the way that should have told him differently. There was the time when Ruthie went out on her first date - and the time when Mac showed a lot of interest in Ruthie - and he discouraged it because of age - when he knew it was really because it would freak him out if Mac and Ruthie were together. There were the hugs that they shared...that always made him feel something unexplainable. He had always pushed those feelings aside. He wasn't sure why though. **

**Now, none of this mattered. Everything had changed. He had Sandy and the baby to contend with. And Ruthie had Mac to comfort her through it. **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**He turned onto their street, for the last time, and that's when he saw her. She was sitting on the front porch with her head tilted back - resting it on the oak post. As he got closer, he saw that her eyes were closed. Her hair blew softly in the wind. She looked so peaceful. He knew he should keep on walking. Every fiber in his body told him that he needed to keep on walking. But his heart made him turn left and go straight up the Camden's driveway. **


	8. Chapter 8

**The closer he got to her, the faster his heart beated. Upon approach, he realized she had fallen asleep. She looked so beautiful and relaxed. The only trace that something was amiss were the white bandages that covered her hands. Guilt completely overwhelmed him. He realized his father was right. He had no right to be there - to be there with her. He could offer her nothing now - nothing but a share in his misery. After one long last look at her, he turned and began walking away.**

**"What do you want?" he heard her say.**

**He turned around and saw her staring straight through him.**

**He walked back towards her and honestly replied, "I saw you out here and wanted to make sure that you were okay."**

**She held up both hands, shrugged and coldly said "They'll heal. No big deal."**

**Her cavalier attitude upset him.**

**"Ruthie," he insisted, "This IS a big deal! When I walked into your room and saw you on the floor I just..."**

**She interrupted and snapped, "Look Martin, don't feel bad. It's not your fault. It was an accident and nothing more. Don't read anything more into it than is actually there."**

**He should have been glad that she was letting him off the hook. He would have been glad if he didn't know Ruthie as well as he did. **

**He stated the obvious. "How can I NOT read anything into this? This happened right after I told you about me and Sandy."**

**Ruthie looked away at the mention of Sandy's name.**

**He felt horrible.**

**He tried to explain, "I didn't mean to keep this from you for so long."**

**"Then why did YOU?" Ruthie asked angrily.**

**Martin thought for a moment before he answered truthfully, "Because I knew that telling you would make it all real."**

**She gave him a confused look and said painfully, "I don't understand."**

**He explained, "Ever since Sandy told me, I've been in denial. I've done everything that I could not to face this. I've pushed her away again and again. But slowly, everyone started to find out. And each time that they did, it got a little more real. Everyone treated me and looked at me differently - and not in a good way. I didn't want you to look at me like that."**

**Ruthie tried not to let Martin get to her. She tried to keep up her strong front. But she felt so sad inside.**

**"You didn't want me to look at you like what?" she asked quietly as she stared at the ground.**

**He sat down beside her on the porch, looked down and despondently confessed, "Like the loser that I am. The one who swore to you that I was going to wait until I was married - and who got his one night stand pregnant. The one who's having a baby with someone that he barely knows and doesn't even want to know."**

**He told himself to stop talking and stop confessing to Ruthie. But something inside wouldn't let him stop.**

**He bravely continued and said shyly, "And the one who realized too late that everything I wanted has been right in front of me all along."**

**He breathed a sigh of relief after he said it. His Dad was right, he shouldn't have let Ruthie know how he feels. It was wrong. But it was something that just NEEDED to be said. And now that he had done it...**

**Ruthie blandly responded "So you miss Meredith, huh?"**

**She had completely missed the point! In fact, she was more than annoyed that not only was he talking to her about Sandy and the baby...but now he was whining to her about missing Meredith. She had heard enough!**

**She stood up and headed towards the door. It was all that she could do to keep her icy edge and maintain her composure. He was so wrapped up in the moment that he missed the tears forming in her eyes.**

**"Look Martin," she frigidly lectured, "I'm sorry that you're not happy about the situation with you and Sandy. And I'm sorry that you regret losing Meredith over this. I don't want you to be unhappy. But I'm NOT the one you should be talking to about your sex life."**

**He protested, "That's NOT what I'm doing, Ruthie! I'm trying to talk to you and explain to you and tell you that..."**

**Ruthie cut him off.**

**"Martin, you've told me enough. I don't want to know anything else." she said indifferently. "It's late and I'm going to bed."**

**She entered the house and closed the door quickly behind her. She didn't want him to ever see her crying over him again.**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Martin came home more depressed then when he had left.**

**Mac was waiting up for him in the living room.**

**Mac greeted him with, "Hey, I was ready to come looking for you. Your Dad said you left hours ago. Where were you?"**

**Martin replied coldly, "Out."**

**Mac didn't catch on to the anger in his answer.**

**Proudly, Mac informed him, "Hey, Ruthie's home. I told ya I could get her out of there."**

**Martin gave him an evil stare and said, "Yeah, I know. How did you pull that off?"**

**"It was easy." Mac said happily. "I think she just needed a friendly non-Camden face. She's still really upset but..."**

**Mac paused and then asked Martin, "How did you know she was home?"**

**Martin cockily revealed, "Because I saw the two of you together...in the Camden's driveway."**

**Mac still didn't pick up on Martin's obvious irritation.**

**"Yeah, she insisted that I bring her home. I don't think she's too happy about living with her parents again. She was really mad that they didn't tell her about Sandy and the baby." he explained.**

**Martin's imagination was beginning to spin.**

**"So she "insisted" huh?" he jealously questioned. "Well, did she INSIST on kissing you?"**

**Mac was completely taken aback.**

**"Kissing me?" he reflectively questioned. "When...you mean when I dropped her off?...What are you SPYING on us?"**

**The rage on Martin's face was surfacing.**

**"I don't think it's called SPYING when she's kissing you in the driveway!" he yelled.**

**Mac studied Martin for a second. He was obviously VERY upset. He just didn't understand what he had done wrong.**

**Trying to calm Martin, he reassured him, "Look Buddy, it was a kiss on the cheek...for helping her and taking her home. That's ALL it was."**

**Martin snarled, "But is that ALL it's going to be?"**

**Now Mac was getting mad. He only came down here to try and help. Why was Martin all pissed off at him?**

**"What do you mean?" he shot back.**

**Martin yelled, "I MEAN...you've always had a thing for Ruthie. You wanted to pursue it last year and I stopped you. This was just way too perfect of an opportunity to pass up...THAT'S why you came down here!"**

**Mac understood Martin's insinuation but he was still offended.**

**"It's NOT like that." Mac insisted. "You're one of my best friends. I came to try and help. I like Ruthie. She was really upset, at the hospital, today. I gave her a shoulder to cry on...and that's ALL. I know how close you are to the Camden's. I'd NEVER try and take advantage of Ruthie!"**

**Martin felt like a total jerk.**

**Mac thought Martin WAS a total jerk.**

**Martin exhaled deeply and then apologized, "I'm sorry."**

**Mac scoffed at his words.**

**"I don't get it." Mac said angrily. "What's up between you and Ruthie? From day one you've had this attitude of "I don't want her but no one else can have her."**

**Martin reluctantly nodded and then looked away.**

**Mac continued, "You're always saying that you think of her like a sister - yet, you're upset when she dates, you're upset when she talks about other guys, you're upset when she's WITH other guys...including ME...what the Hell is going on?"**

**Martin sighed and then divulged his secret, "I like her."**

**Mac and Martin were good friends. But Mac felt a protective loyalty to Ruthie, at the moment.**

**He told him, "I've told you that ALL along! But you know what? You're timing sucks! You CAN'T get involved with her now with the baby on the way."**

**Martin didn't appreciate Mac's opinion.**

**Sarcastically, he asked "So, I can't get involved with her now because of Sandy...but the door is wide open for YOU?"**

**Mac had taken enough of Martin's crap for one night. He began packing his things in his duffel bag.**

**"What are you doing?" Martin asked.**

**"Getting out of here. I'm going to my Dad's." he announced.**

**"You don't have to leave." Martin said with little feeling.**

**Mac answered, "Yeah, I do. You obviously don't trust me. You can't think much of me if you think I'd move in on Ruthie. We're FRIENDS. That's it!"**

**Martin's envy grew.**

**"How can you two be friends? She doesn't even LIKE you!" Martin snapped.**

**Mac nonchalantly quipped as he walked out the door, "Well, okay. Believe what you want. She may hate me and all. But if that's true, I don't know why she BEGGED me to stay in GlenOak."**

**The door slammed hard behind him.**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Monday morning came much too fast.**

**"Why do I even have to GO to school? It's not like I can write anything down...or carry any books." Ruthie whined.**

**"Because, it's the end of the semester and you can't afford to miss anymore school." Annie explained.**

**"You've got two options for transportation this morning - me or Martin." Annie announced.**

**"Martin?" Ruthie loudly questioned. "I'm not going ANYWHERE with Martin."**

**"I didn't think so." Annie agreed. "But he did call and offer."**

**Annie drove her daughter to school. She walked her into the main office. The principal told Annie that Ruthie would be assigned a student aide to assist her with carrying her books and getting her safely from class to class until the stitches came out.**

**"And here he is." the principal announced.**

**Ruthie and Annie were stunned to turn around and see Martin standing there.**


	9. Chapter 9

He had to tell a few lies to secure the position of Ruthie's "student aide." It wasn't like him but something beyond himself was driving him these days. He knew Annie or Eric would never openly object and he hoped that Ruthie's complaints would fall on deaf ears.

Ruthie took one look at Martin and said "No way! I'd rather carry my books between my teeth."

"Ruthie!" Annie said under her breath.

"Now Ruthie," the principal scolded, "Mr. Brewer has generously donated his time. He needs just one more extra curricular activity to round out his transcript...and you're it"

She knew that was a blatant lie. She glared at Martin who just smiled back at her.

Annie got out of her chair. She whispered to her daughter, "It's only for a few days. It'll give you two some time to work things out."

And then she left. And the principal went back to her office. And that left just her and Martin.

He picked up her backpack from the table. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.

"Trigonometry, first?" he playfully questioned...reading it off of her schedule.

"You're SUCH a jerk, Martin Brewer!" she snapped.

"Well," he said hesitantly. "I may be a jerk but I'm also your only way around this school today. SO...you might want to try and be a little nicer to me...or you might end up in metal shop all day."

She scowled at him.

He led her down the hall to her math class.

Lightheartedly, he instructed her,"Now wait for me. I'll be here at the bell to bring you to French."

"And if I DON'T?" she loudly questioned.

He quickly answered, "Then I guess you'll be stuck getting a repeat of Trigonometry for second period."

He met her after every class that morning.

"Okay," he said cheerfully. "Lunchtime."

"I'm NOT hungry!" she insisted.

"Okay, well I guess you'll just have to watch me eat." he cockily replied.

She reluctantly followed him to the cafeteria.

"Sit down." he told her, "I'll get our food"

Realizing she could NEVER carry a tray and that she was famished, she complied.

He came back with two plates of spaghetti.

She took one look at the food and rolled her eyes.

"How the heck am I supposed to eat THAT?" she quipped.

He looked at her...deep into her chocolate brown eyes...and answered "I'll feed you."...in a tone she had never heard him use before on her. It gave her chills for a second.

"No!" she protested. "I'm not a baby"

"No one said you were." he countered.

He looked down at her hands and teased, "But looking like that...there's no way you can feed yourself. And I'm NOT going to let you starve...or else I might get fired from this aide position. And that wouldn't look good on my transcript."

He began twirling the spaghetti onto the fork.

Annoyed, she asked, "Since WHEN do you care about your high school transcripts? With four years of baseball and several scholarships already in the bag...why would you NEED to do this?"

His eyes focused on her and only her when he softly confessed, "You're right I didn't need to do this...I wanted to do this"

"Why?" she asked.

Truthfully, he said "Because I miss you. I miss hanging out with you...I miss talking to you...and I don't want you to be mad at me anymore."

He raised the fork of pasta and gently moved it towards her mouth. Only because she was starving, she opened her mouth and accepted the food.

They repeated the ritual several times until her plate was empty.

He couldn't help needling her with "Wow, for someone who wasn't hungry...you sure made me work!"

Frustrated, she bantered, "Shut up! If I could do it myself - I would - in a heartbeat."

He was just joking. He didn't mean to get her upset.

Apologetically, he said "I'm sorry, Ruthie. I was only kidding. You know I don't mind helping you."

He was being SO nice to her. But she knew the whole thing was driven by one thing...guilt.

He walked her to her last class and told her, "I'll meet you here at the bell. We'll grab your books and I'll drive you home."

"You can't do that." she protested. "You have practice."

"Not today." he smiled and winked. "Student aides get a free pass on sports...while they're working, of course."

"But you NEVER miss practice!" she said with bewilderment.

"There's a first time for everything." he announced as he walked away.

After their last class, he walked her to her locker and gathered all the books she said she needed. It seemed like an AWFUL lot of books.

"Do you really need ALL these?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yep." she responded. "And don't forget the ones we need to pick up at the library before we leave."

Sarcastically, he quipped "Are you opening your own LIBRARY? Is that why you need all these books?"

"Just have lots of homework tonight." she lied.

Okay, she knew it was mean to make Martin carry ALL those books from her locker ALL THE WAY to the student parking lot and then back again tomorrow. But somehow, in her mind, the task was justified.

His arms were killing him by the time he got to the car. He put all the books in the trunk and then opened the door for Ruthie. He noticed her squirming in the seat.

He looked at her oddly and asked "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she answered annoyed.

She continued rubbing her back on the seat and explained "It's just my back is so itchy and I can't scratch it!"

"Turn around." he said gently.

"No, it's okay..." she protested.

"Just turn around." he repeated.

She relented and turned her head to face the passenger window.

In one slow scoop, he picked up her silky brown hair and gently brushed it to one side.

She was wearing a turquoise tank with tiny spaghetti straps. His hand rested on her bare shoulder as he asked, "Where does it itch?"

"Kinda in the middle" she answered - totally aware that Martin's strong hands were on her.

He scratched her back gently.

"Oh come on!' she impatiently whined. "That's not helping. Do it harder! It's SO itchy!"

This time he used more pressure.

"That feels great." she purred.

"She's a friend. She's JUST a friend!" he chanted nervously to himself. Touching her was pure ecstasy.

The itch was gone. She knew she should tell him to stop. But she didn't want the moment to end. She loved his hands on her and all his attention on her.

His ringing cell phone brought them both out of the moment.

"Hello." he answered.

"Martin, it's Sandy." she announced.

He provided her with only silence.

She was annoyed with his childish response.

With hostility, she said, "Look, I'm only calling to tell you that I had a doctor's appointment today. I need to begin taking childbirth classes and I wanted to know if you have ANY interest in being at the birth of YOUR baby?"

He coldly answered "This isn't a good time. I can't talk about this now. I'll call you later."

Ruthie correctly surmised, from his demeanor, that he was talking to Sandy. The thought of Sandy, alone, made her straighten up and sit back in the seat. She smoothed her soft wavy hair back into place.

He quickly hung up with her.

He knew Ruthie had figured out who was on the phone. There was a frigid chill in the air.

All he could offer was a pathetic "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry about?" she asked bitterly.

"Everything." he replied

Testily, she said "You can't keep apologizing to me about Sandy. You didn't do anything to ME. Maybe you should apologize to HER!"

Outraged, he yelled, "Apologize to HER? Are you KIDDING?"

Sarcastically, she yelled back, "What...did she do this to HERSELF? Did she get HERSELF pregnant?"

Ruthie always had a way of putting him in his place.

Defeated, he quietly admitted, "No, she didn't do this by herself. But I didn't WANT this"

"And she did?" she questioned.

Martin just shrugged his shoulders.

"That's what you think? That she got pregnant on purpose?" she prodded.

He shrugged again.

"You know what?" she snapped. "None of that matters. You're going to be a FATHER! This baby didn't ask to be born into this mess. You and Sandy created this mess. You OWE it to your baby to clean it up!"

Ruthie always surprised him. She was a chameleon. Just when he had her pegged as a typical 16 year old girl - she'd get all "wise beyond her years" on him. It always kept him guessing. He liked that.

"And what do you suggest?" he asked curiously.

She was glad that he asked her.

"First of all, you should start being respectful to Sandy. It doesn't matter if you like her or not...she's the MOTHER of your child! And second of all, you should stop walking around telling everyone that you don't want this baby." she scolded.

"But I DON'T!" he insisted.

She looked directly into his eyes. Their's locked on each other. She said firmly to him "That's not true."

He shot back at her a look of confusion.

She explained, "You've told me before that someday you wanted to have a lot of kids."

"Yeah, the operative word there was "someday"...not now...and not with someone that I barely know!" he claimed.

She quietly retorted, "Well, you can't always pick and choose when your dreams are going to come true. That's up to God."

He stared at her with a look of wonder. He had never thought of this baby as a blessing - only a burden.

"How do you do it?" he asked with amazement.

"Do what?" she laughed.

"Always make me feel better. Always know what to say to me. Always know when to call me out on my behavior." he asked.

"It's a gift." she replied modestly.

He drove her home. He opened her door. This time it was him with his arm around her walking her up the driveway.

"See you in the morning?" he asked hopefully when they got to the door.

"I guess." she smiled and sarcastically teased, "I wouldn't want to be responsible for you losing your JOB or anything."

He gave her one of his sweetest smiles before walking away.


End file.
